I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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