not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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