Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
