this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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