Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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