You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
