it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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