Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
