i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
They have beer where we have blood.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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