How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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