I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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