I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
