i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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