whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
