id be glad to
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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