Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
