it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
