hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
