every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The uberlube is also flammable
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
