I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize