I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
