I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
