it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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