I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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