Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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