i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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