i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
