whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hippo gnu deer
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
