Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
