on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is my gift to your gina
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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