Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
