my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
