White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't deserve a penis
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
