Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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