He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize