It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
