I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
