Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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