I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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