So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
