She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
