he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize