Your tits are I can't wait for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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