hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
