That's intense
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
