Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
