yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
