I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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