As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
