Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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