Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize