I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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