sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
