his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
