Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
