Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
