Pappa wants mamma naked
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
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