Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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