there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
