there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
