He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
