yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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