tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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