I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize